Down on Sally's farm

Judy makes a friend

 

Judy and Sally make music at Vista House

     Sally invited us to her farm in Colton so that Judy could pet the donkeys. Judy at one time had a donkey named Casey, who would bray a welcome when Judy came home from work.  Casey's best friend was the miniature goat Vinnie (for Vincent van Goat.)  Judy chuckles through many stories about the adventures of Casey and Vinnie. In recent years, Judy has

The main attraction

volunteered at a donkey rescue farm, brushing and grooming the animals and sneaking them treats. These days  walking though fields and barnyards, as well as breathing the dust raised from grooming, prevent Judy from helping out at the rescue mission.
    Sally served us an elegant lunch and showed us some of her quilts and paintings while she and Judy talked music. Even from her remote farm forty minutes from town, Sally gathers people around her to learn dulcimer and to play old-time music. After lunch  and Sally drove us up to the barn to see the donkeys. Judy had a good long love- in with them, rubbing their ears and feeding them carrots.

Happy time

Before the joy ride

     Then we piled into the John Deere Gator tractor and Sally drove us all  over the farm. There we were, Judy with her oxygen tank, Sally facing surgery, and I with my aching joints, grinning and whooping like teenagers out for a joy ride. We lurched over the fields that Sally's husband has retaken from blackberries, past the vegetable beds, the apple trees, and the pond now dried up. We ended at Sally's secluded writing spot, where she can see Mt. Hood through the cedars.
     It was a fine fall day in the country, down on Sally's farm.

 

Invaders and defenders

     One dark night, as I was working a jigsaw puzzle at the dining room table, I heard a faint growl from the back yard.  It didn't sound like our little dog.  The rustling I am so used to hearing when Mutt Leigh patrols her territory sounded  different, too. I went out the screen door to call Mutt Leigh in, but she ignored me. Mutt Leigh had cornered a possum.

Possum

     The possum was not playing dead. It was hissing and growling at Mutt Leigh. Mutt Leigh was frozen in place, about 2 feet in front of the possum, barking her head off.  I couldn't grab Miss M without forcing her closer to the possum, so I just insisted that she come inside. What a relief when she listened to me instead of following her doggie instinct!  The possum, which was about as big as a large house cat, then waddled briskly across our deck and off into the night.
     In the weeks before the standoff, Mutt Leigh would wake us up at 2 or 3 in the morning, frantic to get outside and and drive off the creature that was passing though our side yard and across the back.  She would charge the windows, scratch wildly at the back door,  or try to climb into the bath tub,  trembling and barking her head off.
     After she encountered the possum in the flesh, Mutt Leigh was much less eager to go outside and confront whatever was invading her world. She still woke up and barked.  But we petted her and thanked her for doing her job, and she settled down. I, however, was afraid to let her out in backyard after dark. I became the vigilant one, turning on the lights and hovering over her until she did her nightly business, then hurrying her inside.
      I engaged a critter getter service for a month. Melissa placed live

Melissa petting our critter

traps baited with miniature marshmallows in the side yard. I would cheek the traps as soon as I woke up in the mornings.  The first creature we caught was a young possum. It was awful to see its face in the trap as Melissa carried it off.  Country law now forbids relocating the animals: they have to be killed.  The next three in the traps were very large possums; I didn't feel so bad about them. I was paying a lot of money not to think too much about what happened to the animals. I was relieved not to worry about Mutt Leigh. But all that trapping and killing ( and paying)  couldn't go on. What to do?
     At a delightful morning tea given by my friend Roxie, I brought up the ugly topic with wildlife expert Jacqueline  Carl, author of Whispers from the Wild.  Jackie explained that, if you get rid of one group of creatures from your yard, another will move in.  Possums are probably the least dangerous to a dog; they would be followed by the more dangerous raccoons, and then by the even more problematic skunks.
     Now we have declared our backyard a demilitarized zone, and rely on Mutt Leigh's newfound skills at peaceful coexistence to keep her safe. Melissa came to remove the traps.  She gave Mutt Leigh one last great love fest of petting.  Melissa, troubled by the critter getting business,  is leaving the trapping to go off to radiology school.
     Meanwhile, our neighbors Tucker and Carson came by in their Halloween costumes, ready to keep the neighborhood safe. The secured the perimeter of our property, and then went on to check out  every house on the cul-de-sac.

Tucker and Carson secure the backyard

 
   
   
   

Visitors

Aniya and Mutt Leigh

Judy makes music

   

Columbia Gorge tourists

     David came to visit bringing his new lady, the delightful Aniya. At first I was disappointed to find that they weren't bringing Maxine and Simone.  Judy pointed  out that an adult weekend would be  perfect thing, and it was. We drove up the Columbia River Gorge to hear Judy play old-time music  at Vista House.  We made the obligatory stops at Powell's Books and at Voodoo Donuts. David and Aniya helped Judy find and buy a device to track and record her oxygen saturation levels 24 hours a day. Aniya formed a special bond with Mutt Leigh.  We visited and ate and laughed, and then they were gone, back to faraway Texas.

Laurie, 1965

Maggie, 1965

   Laurie, a friend from high school, came to lunch while she was here on a trip  from South Carolina. We have seen each other only twice in the past 50 years. She could remember one of the times, and I could remember the other.  We had a grand conversation, catching up and reminiscing.  Visiting with Laurie felt familiar, as if all that time had not passed.  I was surprised at how avidly I was asking about who from our class had died, and of what.  I am becoming  like my sisters who read the obituaries first thing when they open the newspaper. (They call it the Irish social column.)
 

Mutt Leigh in heaven with Nils

Judy and Holly

 Judy's  friend Holly and her husband Nils were making musical tour of the Pacific Northwest from their home in Virginia, and came by for a day or so. It was a deeply emotional, bittersweet visit, because Holly and Judy might not see each other again. Holly sang her signature  Shine On, holding Judy's hand and crying.  Nils gave Mutt Leigh all the playing and petting she could possibly absorb.   We ate too much food at the Bomber, laughed and made music, and then they too were gone.

The fire next time

Columbia River at Hood River, clear sky

     The weather forecast in recent weeks  often called for "sunny with periods of smoke." Oregon and Washington are burning. We had a dry winter and a very hot summer.  East of the Cascade mountains, there is a wildfire the size of Rhode Island burning in Washington. We have smoke jumpers coming in from Australia and New Zealand, the governor called up the national guard, and 3000 people responded to a call for volunteers. Still the fires burn. The Columbia River Gorge acts like a giant wind tunnel, blowing the smoke and particulate matter westward toward us.

St. Johns bridge, Portland

Smoke rolls into Hood River

     On the worst day, the smoke here in Milwaukie was so thick that I closed up the house, including the skylight that are always cracked open. I was disoriented driving because everything around me looked so distorted.
Worried friends called, concerned for Judy.
   Judy braved the smoke  to go 60 miles up the Columbia Gorge, 60 miles closer to the fires, to Hood River for a ukulele workshop.  She wore a mask
and used her oxygen well and was vigilant about parking close to entrances.  She managed to spend only 10 minutes total during the two days outside of air-conditioning. She came home to our closed-up house and seemed none the worse for her adventure.
     "Climate change" seems like such an inadequate term, with no actor and no acted upon.  It reminds me of the twist reporters make when they talk about " a family troubled by domestic violence," instead of "men battering women." What if we called our current crisis "the destruction of our biosphere?"
     Les looked out of his balcony high above downtown Portland and said, "It looks like Beijing."  How does anybody live like this?  How will we live like this?
      The wind has shifted now to blow to the west, and we have had rain.  But the smoke could come back with the next east  wind.

It's raining

Death panels

 

Judy and Rob 2012

  I have been worried ever since I read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End and Katy Butler's Knocking on Heaven's Door: the Path to a Better Way of Death.  What if Judy has a breathing crisis and I call 911 and the EMTs or the ER docs do something to her that will increase her suffering without any benefit? Something that would result in a permanent situation that she definitely does not want, such as being put on a ventilator?  Nephew Rob, the Emergency

Medical Technician leader, says that his guys are required to "do everything" unless they can find a POLST do not resuscitate order.  What is "everything?'" And how am I supposed to know if it will do any good?  How does one procedure  lead to another?  How will I know what to say yes or no to, especially when I am frightened and all I want is for Judy to breathe better? Judy says, "If a procedure can reverse a situation, do it.  If the situation cannot be reversed, don't do it."  Not nearly specific enough to guide me through my ignorance.
  Judy meets with a new pulmonology fellow every other August. When this year's  fellow, Dr. Sakata, asked, "Do you mind if I type while we're talking?"  I thought, "Oh, no, he's not going to take his head out of his computer." But he was wonderfully direct. At the end of the visit he scooted his stool closer to Judy and looked her in the eye and said that now we needed to talk about end of life issues.  "Do you have a POLST (Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment)?" Here's the thing about intubation and ventilators."  Judy talked about her wishes. I expressed my worries about my lack of knowledge.
Dr Sakada told me that if I see mask go over Judy's face, that's OK, but if I see a long tube ready to go down her throat, that's when I should say no.  That is the level of detail and simplicity that I need.  
   Les and Betsy have been reading the same books.  Les, ever prepared and thorough, worked and worried over the wording of advanced directives, supplemental letters to the directives, and health

Les and Betsy

authorization releases.  These are legal documents stating a patient's wishes in great detail and authorizing representatives to make health care decisions for her.  We spent a working morning with Betsy and Les drinking coffee, eating fruit and cinnamon rolls, and going over the documents word for word.

Ukulele buddies with Maddie

     Of course, all this fussing helps me avoid my deeper fears.
     Meanwhile, life goes on.  Judy and her ukulele buddies sang "Happy Trails" to their favorite  waitress, who will be leaving the Painted Lady.  Maddie is  beginning community college, the first step in her long-held dream of becoming a registered nurse.

 

Green flash

Jack on skim board:  John's photo

Rob and Jess: Jake's photo

Josh with sand tool

     Four houses full of the family gathered in Manzanita this summer, as we did in 2013.  Paul and

Bridget, Lucy, Vonnie

Tina and the boys had their base camp in a house high in the trees. Rose and John and their family filled 3-story Hallie House. Cole and Bianca rented a sweet place close to town with Vonnie and Ernie, and Judy and I  settled into a beachfront house with a spectacular view. Judy and Mutt Leigh held court from the couch

Hikers

while our loved ones flowed in and out.

John introduces sea creature: Jake's photo

    I asked each of the boys to come by early in the morning to have hot chocolate while I drank my coffee.  They were  sweet
times for me, one-on-one with my grandsons.
     John brought Judy a cinnamon roll from the bakery every morning.  He led the group to the tide pools, which this year had few star fish but many sea anemones.  He organized a hike up Neahkhanie Mountain, and games of petanque.  He and Josh

Ernie and Judy with walkie-talkie

created the most complicated sand drawing yet.  The little girls and Sam built a fairy village on the beach, and Jack learned to ride a skim board.  Judy and Ernie surveyed the action and kept up with breaking events by walkie-talkie with Bridget down by the water.

Lucy and sea anemones: Jake's photo

     Rose and I took short forays into town, congratulating ourselves on getting the family to Manzanita one more time. Gathering in Manzanita one year and Rehoboth the next seems like a great pattern to us.  We also reassured

each other that we were  not trying  to micromanage anything.

Charlie and Mutt Leigh

     Mutt Leigh spent the week being petted and walked. Charlie cuddled her constantly, and Jake declared that she is "a teddy bear of a dog." Lucy and Jamie would appear at our door and ask to walk Mutt Leigh.  One evening while the sun set, the crab eaters
crowded our picnic table while all the kids were in the hot tub.  When the kids emerged from the tub they streamed down the dunes to the beach, taking Mutt Leigh and Rob's dog Gracie with them.  Then they climbed back up the dunes to gather around the fire pit and roast marshmallows for S'mores.  Jack took great care in toasting a perfect marshmallow for Judy.

Judy enjoying life

Happy with Paul

     That evening while the sun was going down, John alerted us that the absence of any clouds might make it possible to see the green flash.  I have heard about the green flash ever since the first time I stayed in Manzanita, but I never really thought I would catch it.  We all stood looking out the windows.  Sure enough, the moment the sun went down below the horizon, it turned into a bright green orb for about one second. I saw it!  Judy saw it!
        What a fine time of happiness and contentment.
 
   

Sequim and Milwaukie

 

John, Rose, Florrie, Mike

 My sister Florrie and her husband Mike were visiting Sequim, so I drove up to see them.   I figured Judy would be fine at home: she had lunch with her ukulele buddies scheduled, and I left her plenty of easy food.

Totem pole at Sequim City hall

     There is always lots to do in Sequim. Rose and Florrie and I shopped, of course. We strolled through  the woods at  Railroad Bridge Park, where the Dungeness River had changed course and destroyed the trestle over the river. Florrie taught Megan, Jamie, and Josh how to make nonpareil candies. Jess made an upside down cake using blueberries, cherries, and plums from the backyard.  We all walked over to the town museum to see the shell featured inBoys in the Boat, the book about  a Sequim boy on the University of Washington crew team that won gold in the Berlin Olympics of 1936.

Joah cleans up

    Florrie is wonderful at drawing young people out. Josh had just returned from a vigorous wrestling camp.  Megan's soccer team won first place, and Jamie had tales and songs from Girl Scout camp.  I learned more details about the kids' school lives and hopes for the future than I ever have.
     We marveled at the  totem pole that the Jamestown S'Klallam tribe donated to the new City Hall.  The tribe employs a full-time carver, who creates stunning works of art.  Judy donated her carving tools to his program; they will be used by his new apprentice.  Judy also wanted to give her Northwest Coast art books to the Jamestown S'Klallam tribal library. It is a small gem of a library, dedicated to preserving culture but open to all. I had a sent the librarian a list of the books ahead of time.  When I delivered the books, she told me how she planned to use each one.

Judy's carving tools

    When I returned home to Milwaukie after two days, I found that Judy had not gone to her regular Thursday lunch, and had subsisted on Ensure and Popeye's chicken.
   Over the weekend Milwaukie hosted the Moving Wall,  a replica of the Vietnam Memorial in DC. With the help of Judy's friend Suzanne, who was volunteering, I found the names of five boys  from my grade school who had died in the war.  Suzanne was worried about Judy's missing  lunch.  As I left, my friend Katie's American Legion band was playing marches and the Young Marines were

Young Marine shouting names of Vietnam dead

reading (shouting) names from the wall. The streets were blocked off and people were setting up chairs to view the parade. I parked a few blocks away, and found my way to  the Painted Lady coffee shop to buy a latte and oatmeal to bring home to Judy.  Maddie the clerk was concerned because she hadn't seen Judy at lunch on Thursday. Jill, the tattooed painted lady, asked, "Is Judy OK?" The coffee shop was packed, and I waited a long time for my order.

Milwaukie sign

    I got to see the parade as it passed by outside the  window: a brass band, lots of decorated jeeps, the sheriff's horse patrol, the Boys Scout color guard, and many
Vietnam vets. Portland might have its naked bike ride, but out here, where the bumper stickers read "Weird isn't working," they wave small flags and cheer for the Harley riders and the Black Veterans group.
     When the cook's helper emerged from the kitchen with my order, she read the name on the slip and looked for, "Judy's wife?"

Painted Lady