Celebrating Old Women

Granddaughter Kelli

Louise 90

    Louise celebrated her ninetieth birthday at a party next door.  She wanted to make sure that Judy and I were there.  "The neighbors are coming, aren't they?"she  asked her granddaughter, Kelli, many times before the big day.  We were honored to sing "Happy Birthday" along with her family and friends, ranging in age from ninety to eight  months.  Arnold watched from the back yard.
     My Aunt Sister turned 90 in May.  There was a big party for her in New Jersey.  My sisters came from Maryland and Washington State, and my brother from Texas.   Her nephews and cousins and longtime friends were there, too.  (I was unable to go, because I was waiting for the birth of Simone.)  Everyone wanted to cheer for this dear woman.

Arnold

     Aunt Sister has lived alone since  her sister and lifelong housemate, my  Aunt Helen, died in 1994. Aunt Sister’s circle of connection is wide and deep and always personal.  Her strong sense of relatedness must help to form the positive and hopeful way that she interprets life.  When your mind is full of people whose family and pets and history and hopes you know well, when you remember them in your prayers everyday, where is the room for cynicism or discouragement? Somebody in your world might have cancer and need hope, somebody might be starting a new job, somebody might be pregnant.

Aunt Sister with cousin and nieces

      I have had that constant consciousness of interconnection at crucial times in my life:  when my babies were born, when I moved across country, at a niece’s wedding, at my mother’s death, and then at my father’s.  Aunt Sister seems to live in it all day, every day, even in her old age.  She lives in relatedness, with a positive sense of progress for the whole group, the whole world.  As children, we learned the phrase, “communion of saints” to rattle off in catechism class and in church.  Now, knowing Aunt Sister in her old age, I begin to understand it.
     My friend Kris's mother Win also turned 90 this year.  Her party in Sequim included relatives who came from her native Australia, as well as nine of her elderly friends.  What a rare and lucky thing it must be to  have that many healthy, active friends at age ninety!

Win (pink dress) and friends

Finally allowed to marry, at ages 85 and 77

     Beginning on December 6, same-sex couples  are  allowed to apply for marriage licenses in Washington State.  The first couple to receive a license in Seattle were two women, June Lighty and Pete-e Petersen, who have been together for 35 years.

Hooray for old women.