Twenty years together

1997

1996

     Judy and I have been married twice, but we don't count either wedding date as our anniversary.  Long before we were allowed legal marriage,we chose our anniversary.  On the Saturday after Thanksgiving we mark twenty years together.

2001

2002

2004

       When we met, I lived in Eugene and Judy lived in Newport, two hours away on the central Oregon coast. We had a few false starts at the beginning. When she showed up at my door for the first time, I greeted her with, "You're so big!" (I had met her once before, in a group. She hardly said a word and seemed to me to be physically small.)  When we agreed to meet to walk the dogs on the beach at Florence ( an equal drive for each of us) I was an hour and a half late. That was  in the days before cell phones. Somehow I knew this was a woman I had to take seriously, that it might be a real relationship, and I couldn't get myself out of the house. Judy waited for me. After we had known each other for three weeks, she asked me to go to Arizona with her for a New Years' Eve dance. We were both surprised when I said yes.

2005

     All the following spring and summer we traveled between Eugene and Newport. I looked forward all week to seeing Judy. I would drive the two hours with my big unruly dog Tuffy panting over my shoulder. Then I would get to Judy's place, say "Hi, Hon," and promptly fall asleep. The ocean air had that effect on my. Once Judy  arrived in Eugene talking about how she'd had to drive through standing water outside of Bellfountain. She then realized her brakes no longer worked.

2013

That September I moved to Newport.  We were way beyond the second date; nobody could call me a U-Haul lesbian.  (What does a lesbian take on a second date?  A U-Haul.)
     Betsy and Les were the first of my east coast friends to meet Judy.  Betsy drew me aside on the  Newport docks, and said, "She's wonderful!" Twenty years later,  I still think so.